Number of times watched (including the time before this review): 1
Rating (out of five stars): 1
Warning: this review gets personal. If you do not care, leave now. If you do not want to read a very angry review of 13 Reasons Why, leave now.
When I was in grade six (age 11-12), I almost committed suicide. It’s not exactly something you ever forget. There is a feeling of indescribable hopelessness that comes with losing the desire to live. It is something I wish on no one, especially not the people who caused me to get into that frame of mind. I will live with the memory of this feeling for the rest of my life and I’m one of the lucky ones; I didn’t go through with it. I thought about how scared my little sister would be when she walked in to our shared bedroom to see me dead, and the hopelessness was replaced with an absolute certainty that no matter how bad it got, I would live to spare my family the absolute heartbreak of losing a child and a sister, and fear that it had gotten bad enough for my thoughts to drift towards suicide. That day is how I know with absolute certainty that the bullying I received in elementary school was worth the nights I cried myself to sleep. I was bullied from grade 1 to the end of grade 9, when I finally switched schools. I still fear running into them in public. I am no longer suicidal.
I learned later, last year to be precise, that at least since that day, I had depression. I still have depression. If you read my Crooked Kingdom review, I am talking about having the worst relapse I have had since that day in grade 6 in the first paragraph. Why have I told you my life story? So no one can say I do not understand what Hannah went though, and therefore I cannot hate this show, because I really hate this show. Maybe hate is a strong word, but so is suicide.
I have read the book 13 Reasons Why twice, and I haven’t really had a problem with it. I related to Hannah’s feeling that the little things build and matter, but other than that I didn’t find it all that powerful. I’m happy for you if you did, but as someone who almost ended up like Hannah, it should have had more of an impact.
Show Clay Jenson is an obtuse Jerk (currently mentally using stronger language). In fact all of the characters are horrible people, parents, and authority figures. At least in the book Clay was kind of a good person, but I honestly have no idea what show Hannah is talking about when she says how Clay is different from the other guys, because I saw little to support that. They also had to give the kid who is on the tapes twice a sad backstory to “soften the blow”, which was just pathetic. The group of kids who were on the tapes had meetings (as what I have dubbed “The Tape Club”), which were just plain weird. They planted drugs on Clay and theorized how to “off” him. It was a bit extreme.
I sat there watching this show about a girl committing suicide as a person who almost went through with it herself and all I could think about (excluding the 12th tape) was how over-dramatic this girl was being. One of her reasons for killing herself was losing a friend she had had for a few weeks. I had no friends for most of my life, and in all two years I have had “friends”, I have only found one good one that I know in person who actually lets me speak, and cares about what happens to me. I wanted to stop watching then and there, and I had only completed two episodes. If a girl who almost killed herself finds the suicidal girl in your show over-dramatic, you have done something very wrong.
The filler between learning about what was on the tapes was pretty terrible. Clay was a jerk, villains got backstories and then planned to kill Clay, and half of them were in denial. The episodes did not need to be over 50 minutes long.
Overall, 13 Reasons Why missed the mark entirely, and I’m going to go study for my vectors midterm while my blood finishes boiling. I’m not going to try and find the positives. This thing could actually hurt someone like me who isn’t in the right frame of mind.